WHEN BEING JUDGEMENTAL FEELS CATHARTIC

I have not touched this blog in a couple of days (contrary to the target I set myself) and I have been vacillating between guilt and exasperation – mentally kicking myself for laziness and berating my easily distracted mind. I have also realised that I am such a looooong way from being the next Chimamanda if I continue like this, but then I digress.

A part of me feels the weekends allocated to me every work week are meant to be an opportunity to take stock and make plans. Sure a lot of people do this but for a natural procrastinator (ie. ones who would win this at an Olympic event), these two days are filled with a desire or dare I say desperation to fill in the hours wasted away between Monday to Friday.

Hours spent focussing on the non-important and not urgent. (Some May think looking up words in the dictionary and marvelling at their usage and pronunciation is non-important, but hey, I did say I was a procrastinator). I can become caught up in the most mundane activity and spend a goodly amount of time on whatever unimportant think I have laid upon myself to do. ( many a times, this is usually linked to reading).

As it were after tossing and turning this weekend, I spent the last hours of the day browsing through a motivational website and promising myself and the Universe that I would work on being a less judgemental and more loving person. I promised to look past my past and current prejudices about people and search for the good in them – big mistake!

I got side tracked by someone I met – a lady who seemed like she grew up amongst savages – an uneducated mess of a human being. My being judgemental stemmed from the fact that the lady in question had passed through the University but seemed to make uninformed comments about human beings, about science, about life in general. It seemed weird that with all the wisdom and knowledge (not to mention Google) available in the world, some people refuse to use the information available to them to say positive things or take decisions for the better or educate others rightly.

Why would you spend time (not to mention resources) going back and forth to school, debating with peers, reading books, being challenged by teachers and lecturers, being tested and taking exams to come out and speak like a person who has absolutely no sense at all?

In the midst of my being constantly distracted by books and in seeking knowledge, I look at those around me who do not have the “luxury” of being inquisitive or who lack the desire (or will) to do so and my spirit smiles.

I may be loopy and distracted but I am grateful and my spirit rejoices that, I can – it shows that my brain actually works and is thinking and can use all the information (relevant and irrelevant) that it absorbs daily.

Grateful.

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